It's funny how little things like a touch are fabulous. The other night I was having hell with coughing and clearing my tracy and throat out so I could breath through either my nose or my tracy. Didn't make a damn to me which one, as long as I wasn't feeling like I was drawing a breath underwater, through a straw I was going to be happy. I finally got it, wide awake now for sure, and panting. Liz rolled over and patted my arm. I'm not sure she was even awake, but right off my breathing calmed down, and I got sleepy again. All from a touch. One of the little things.
Hearing my kids laugh, that's always been a pleasure to me. Nothing is funnier or more heartwarming than hearing a baby belly laugh. Cracks me up every time. And if I think back, I can hear their laughs change as they got older. Still funny, but more mature. The same, but different. We try and laugh a lot hear, but my kids are sad sometimes. That's understandable. So, I'm working on making them laugh a lot more than making them sad.Of all the things I want to show them about life, having a good time is the most important. That there's something funny in every thing. We've found things to laugh at at funerals even, where you're supposed to be sad, Liz, I and the family (hopefully some others as well) have found something funny. It's human nature, we do funny shit even when we aren't supposed to do funny shit.
Food!! Oh God I love food. Simple, gourmet, extravagant, it makes no difference to me, if it tastes good I love it. Unfortunately a lot of folk feel guilty eating in front of me. Don't. I love the smell of food, it brings back great memories of meals shared with friends and family. It's a little thing, but I really enjoy it. We took Addison to her Birthday supper and Osaka. It's a Japanese cuisine place with decent sushi. You get a bowl of beef broth with the meal. They brought me one, I think by accident. No matter, after it cooled I put a little on my tongue. Holy Shit!! I did not realize broth tasted so good! I pulled some out with my syringe, and dumped it in my feeding tube. Crazy good, just crazy. No, I couldn't taste it, but it was warm. I could feel it all over my stomach. I've not put warm anything in my stomach since Jan 21. It's the little thing that made it special, the warm. I tasted a bit of Shirley Temple (yes the drink, naughty people), it was great. Tried a little of that in the tube. It was cold and fizzy. And yep, I can feel that in my stomach. With a direct line in and nothing solid in there, it's amazing what you can feel. I put a little Wasabi on a chop stick and tasted that. I love hot food, and I know a little dab will do ya with Wasabi. I wasn't lyin, that shit was HOT, but tasted great. It's a little thing.
I went by Starbucks on Saturday, early in the AM it's slow. A couple of people wanted to know about my cancer and what it was gonna do and how I felt. So I sat at the counter and answered their questions. I knew by looking a couple of the girls were worried about asking me, but they did anyway, and I answered as best I could. The little thing is the interest they showed. Not being morbid, but genuinely curious. It's cool to help someone understand. It turned into a pretty nice Q and A session. They are nice girls, and they proved it again to me. I like those kids
I start PT again this week. I like it, it makes me feel better. The little thing is the care they take with me. We laugh a bit more than some of the other people I see up there. I know we're all in pain and can't move right, otherwise we wouldn't be in PT, but at least have fun with what you can do. I'm a firm believer in laughter helping you heal faster. It can't hurt
I've a FaceBook friend who asks me every morning how I'm doing. They don't have to, but they do. It's nice, very nice. We chat a bit. Sometimes I ramble like a bonehead and for hat I apologize. It's nice to have someone outside of family that checks on me in the morning. It's a little thing that goes a long way.
To me, the biggest little thing a lot of people do is not treat me differently. Sure, they ask about the time I have left. But after that chat is finished, we go right on teasing, talking and being ourselves like we used to. Except I write now, and sometimes it's hard to stay within the same conversation and topic without being left behind a bit. I accept that, and so do my buds. That's a great feeling. Knowing they see you the same even when you're not the same in a lot of ways. They see the inside of me that's hard for me to express now. That's special, and I appreciate it.
New week, new start on Speech and PT. It's time for me to buckle down on both, so I can be as good as I can with the time I have remaining
Y'all be good now, hear?
