Yes, it's been a few days since I wrote anything in the blog. I was traveling and hanging out at a Highland Game Saturday and part of the day Sunday, then the road trip home. This time wasn't so bad, 5 hours each way. The worst was being caught on I-35 north on a Friday at 5:30. Took an hour to get 15 miles. Sucks, yes it does, it sucks. Although, in all honesty, it was still safer driving in Fort Worth, than it is driving in Midland County. Sure, there are bad drivers in Fort Worth, don't get me wrong, but it's the size of Midland County that makes it less safe. There's no need for the peckerwoods out here to drive like the do. That makes them plain, simple, egotistic, assholes.
Let's get the gross shit out of the way early. I know I've said I'd be open and honest with everything that my cancer is causing. I have been and I will continue to do so. Friday on the way to Argyle, where we were staying, I started to hack blood. I'd driven a while, let Liz drive, and right before she stopped at a rest area, I hacked up nothing but lovely bright red blood. Not out of my mouth, but straight up the trach tube. I asked if she wanted me to drive, and she did. So, while she was in the potty, I suctioned out my mouth. There too, nothing but bright red blood. I snagged another "coughing towel" and settled in to drive. I only coughed a few times over the next 2 hours, but it was all blood. I was getting a bit anxious about all the bleeding, since it normally clears up in 30 minutes or so. But, after settling in at Argyle, where we were staying, it slowed down and finally quit about 2100. That was three and a half hours of bleeding. Which sounds like a lot, and kinda is, but not in the amount. It wasn't like I'd blown an artery or anything. Anyway, it was the same thing Saturday and Sunday. Just in lesser amounts and not in such long stretches. I'm getting used to the cancer making me bleed. Okay, okay, MOSTLY used to it making me bleed. Even my body surprises me once in a while. Something else for the "First Time That Shit Has Ever Happened" column. I dozed off driving Sunday. If it hadn't been for the "Buzz" strips on the shoulder, it might have been a terrible mistake. So, that's not gonna happen ever again. Not only because I'm probably not making anymore road trips, but because I'm smart enough to not let my driver seat ego override my "stay alive" common sense. I'll pull over the minute I start feeling sleepy. Even if that's never been a problem before, it is now.
So, on to the fun shit. We made it to Argyle in reasonably good shape. I drove from just west of Weatherford in to Argyle. Yes, I was still coughing up blood, but not so badly I couldn't drive. Liz needed a break, and I was wide awake. We got to Rod and Susan Anderson's, and started a visit that was way to long in coming. Life and shit kept us from visiting for a couple of years. I hope that Liz does a bit better than that after my time is up. Liz and Susan talked for quite a while. Everyone was real patient with me while I wrote out my answers and wise ass remarks. Mostly I listened. I've mentioned before that to me, now, it's not so much what's being said, it's all the nuances of listening to a conversation that is what I enjoy now. We reminisced, talked about now, and I answered a lot of questions. I hope to everyone's satisfaction. I slept fitfully Friday night, but finally got a stretch of a couple of hours. Woke up at my usual 0430, medicated, fed myself, and took about an hour nap. Liz and I headed for the Women's Team Challenge Highland Games in Fort Worth, and got there in plenty of time. It was different for me to be there so early and not have to help set up. Normally I'd be ass deep in the middle of things helping get the trigs, the height event poles, and little stuff like that set up. Weird just to sit back and watch. Liz went to eat. Gave me sometime to gauge how much I was bleeding. Yep, started again Saturday before we got in the car to drive. I bled off and on all day Saturday. But that didn't detract or dissuade me from what else was going on.
Shannon Wait, Hal and Pattie Cummins, Michelle Brien, my cousin Amy and her husband Bill, and Tom Godfrey all came to see me at the games. I'd not seen Amy in probably 20 years. She and her husband are very nice folks. It's a shame I didn't get to know him better. We had a nice visit. I really enjoyed that. Man, talk about old folks day at the Highland Games! Shannon, Hal and Pattie, Michelle and Tom and I talked and laughed for hours! Catching up, showing off kids. Remembering silly shit we did in High School. All the stories the remembered about me were totally made up, of course, since I was such a straight arrow in school......NOT. It was great. Tom drove from Tulsa to Fort Worth and was talking about wheeling it right back. I'm glad they all went to eat and convinced him to stay over at Shannon's place. There were a lot of questions asked and answered. Mostly, though, it was like we'd just all pulled into the Pizza Hut parking lot in LK, back in 1978, and were sitting on the hoods of our cars shooting the shit. It amazes me how easily we can slip right back into that kind of easy conversation. It's gotta be a gift. Facebook allows us to stay connected, but it's no where near the dynamic of real conversation. And it comes so easily with all the people I know. We pick up where we left off, and move along as if there wasn't such a time difference as really exists between our meetings. Lots of laughter. Shannon, who's gone through her own ordeal with cancer, kept looking at me and mouthing "are you tired?". Of Course I said "no", and I didn't let on that I was bleeding a lot more and really was tired. No way I was going to slow up the conversation, or have my friends that traveled worry about me. It was, by the way, my birthday. If I'd said "Yeah, and I'm bleeding too" that would have spoiled the perfect day I was having. I'd not had that much fun on a birthday in ages. Liz got to meet my buds, and they her. There were a ton of lady athletes and their spouses that came by to see me and Liz as well. And I think I managed to get the Games a few more fans. My friends got really interested in what was going on. It was nice to be able to explain it to them. And also hear, after I told them the weights of the various implements for men and women, "You did all that? You're crazy!". Yep and yep. I am and I am.
So, back to Argyle we go. The games finished way early. The ladies went fast for the number of athletes, and including award ceremonies, we were out at around 1530. Headed back toward Argyle, and yes, I was impatient in traffic again. Got there and relaxed with some chow and talk. This time I was really beaten down, so I fell asleep way early. To the best of my recollection, I only woke 3 times the entire night. Coughed a bit, then right back out. I ended up with a stretch of four hours solid sleep. Did my morning constitutional, shot the breeze with Rod a bit, left them a thank you note, and off we went for the games and to see my son. Chance, his girl Stephanie, and her son Wyatt were meeting us there. They aren't married yet, but to me Stephanie and Wyatt are family. She's a wonderful woman, and Chance has his kindred spirit in her, I believe. Wyatt is just a cool 2 year old. He was a little shy around me. But after we walked around and saw the guys throw stuff, he kinda warmed up and was fun to be around. Chance, Stephanie and I talked a bit. Mostly I just like being around them. They are easy company, and that's a good thing. Chance and I are at the age when not only am I dad, I'm a friend now, too. That's the damnable shame of the cancer killing me. Just when our ages are coming to the point when I can be something more than a parent, it's getting taken from me. That sucks ass.
Shannon came out to visit again as well. She's a good person, and I enjoy her company as well. I got a chance to say good bye to a lot of my Highland Game family. Something I needed to do for myself. I'm going to miss them all
Sarah, my oldest daughter ran in a 12 mile, 26 obstacle run called The Tough Mudder in Dallas. She'd been training for it, but as I thought, she hadn't enough time to train as well as she needed. She finished, hurt both her knees in a fall. One I suspect is sprained. She did the entire 12 miles and only skipped two obstacles. My son says she started with a SWAT team and some other military type guys, and finished about 20 minutes behind them, and that was walking the last half mile or so on bum legs. Damn right I'm proud of her!!! She says she's going to train harder for the next one. I figure she will and she'll finish that in better shape. I'm about ready to bust at the seams with pride.
I'm proud of all my kids. In their own way they conquer obstacles thrown up by just being alive. I like that, and know they will continue to do that the rest of their lives.
To my Highland Game family. Thanks for letting me be a part of the unique athletics that is Scottish Heavy Athletes. You're a wonderful group of people, and have enriched my life in directions you'll never notice, by just being yourselves.
The blog can't do justice to my friends, family, and everyone else who made this last birthday a great day in my life. There's no way I have the words to explain it to everyone. Nor the time, because each person has a story with me that I could relate, and how they made my life more full. Y'all will just have to take my word for it.
Book Of Rock: Let someone know how much they mean to you, today. Don't put it off. Even if it sounds corny or silly, it's not if it comes from your heart. Something I didn't do enough of, and something I'm fighting to get finished before my life is over.
Hugs and Shit
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