My PEG tube (feeding tube) has gotten a section that is bubbly looking, far bigger around, and much softer than it was originally. Where I work, if rubber tubing gets like that you change it. It's close to bursting. Granted, I don't carry the same pressure as any of the applications in the oil field, but the principal is the same. Change the tube. That was fine with Hospice. I get a text yesterday asking when I could be at the ER to get the tube changed. That was 0930. I text that I would be there in an hour, that I needed a shower first. Fine, they'll be expecting you. Surprise. I get there, no one in the ER knows dick about me getting that PEG tube replaced. That manages to get my temper started. When the only answer I have for anyone is a very simple "I don't know anything, this is where Hospice told me to show up". To continually get questioned as to why, just blew my gaskets. I was short and shitty with several people. Including the Hospice messenger. I gave them 20 minutes to get their shit together, and I was leaving. I'm certainly glad that they took all my vital signs before that got started.
Here's why I got 50 shades of pissed off. You tell me to be somewhere, and I give you the time I'll be there, things better be ready to go to work. If I, in my job, say I need this equipment at this time, it better damn well be there. I'm early, 99.9% of the time. That way I know I'm not the one holding up work. For some reason, and I have no idea why, more and more people don't seem to give a rats ass about being punctual. You tell me to be somewhere at a particular time, your ass better be waiting and ready. Or at least let me know that you can't make it at that time. That's fine. You leave me hanging, baby the oil field ass eating has just begun. After all was said and done, Hospice got an explanation to the ER, at two minutes to 1100. More than 30 minutes after they told me it was all set up. I did apologize to three people. The nurse that kept asking why I was there. She didn't know anymore than I did, therefore I did not need to be so short. Same thing with the ER doctor. And to my Hospice nurse. He was simply relaying information he got from the Hospice doctor or PA. Not having a direct line to them, I let my nurse catch both barrels. Being the messenger myself, I would have expected the same thing. Either there's decent communication, or I'm keeping my temper gun loaded. I've had enough of hospitals to last me a life time. Literally.
Yep, I'm selfish and stubborn about this. As we all should be. Whether you work for a service company of any kind. Hospice and the hospital are service companies. They offer service to people who need them. I don't know if they believe that they have all of us over a barrel or not. In one sense they do. Folk in my position need them both. Well, Hospice is great for my wife, it takes a lot of the day to day burden off her. Can I get along without it? Probably. I'm dying, I'm home, I have insurance. So yes, I probably could. But the stress on the family would increase 100 fold, that I don't need. My advise to both is this. You are a service, treat your customers exactly like you wish to be treated. It's a pretty simple concept. But it seems like more and more people in the service industry could give a shit whether or not the service is as good or better than it had been in the past. I believe it runs along with the majority of folks thinking they deserve something, that they are entitled to it. They are wrong. I'm entitled to good service as long as I'm a cordial customer. If I come in ranting and raving, then no, I don't deserve decent or above average service. I always start out very nice and friendly. Days like yesterday, though, I do not generally stay that way. Mores the shame, because the nurse and doctor in the ER are very nice people. I did't thunder at them directly, but I get the feeling they got the point that I was upset with someone. It wasn't them.
On the Cancer Update front: One of the tumors is my mouth is in my tongue. It's big enough to see. When I got home, it felt like I had something in my mouth. Odd, because I can't eat or swallow, why would it feel this way? I go into the bathroom, turn on every light I can find and hold my mouth open with one hand. There she is! Big! Looks like another tongue is in there. I've not looked into my mouth for a long time, so I'm not certain when it started growing in my tongue area. I do know that the last part of August I could roll a tongue depressor from the right side of my mouth to the left, and it wasn't apparent then, or my SLP might have noticed something wasn't right. So maybe that big in a couple of months. That seems pretty fast.
I still have trouble catching a deep breath off and on. Although yesterday my blood Ox was 95. Four points higher than last Wednesday. Still about three points lower than when I smoked, even. I've tried being more active, hoping to keep my body from getting much weaker. I can see in my results that I'm losing ground. Still, I auger away.
I had a go round with my old friend Bleeding, early this morning. He has since stopped, but coughing up a couple of pretty good sized, nothing but blood, doses into the cough towel, and suctioning out a couple of healthy shots of beautiful bright red blood has a bit more than disconcerting look to it. They want to give me a steroid to help control that, but I don't bleed all the time, so I wonder if that's really necessary. We'll see.
Book Of Rock: Want an honest answer, ask away. Want a yes man? Then don't ask me, I'll just piss you off by giving an honest answer.
Truly, that has happened to me a couple of times. Both times I gave an honest answer to what seemed like a pretty straight forward question. Got my ass chewed from here to next week. Third time I'm a bit gun shy. So I ask "Want an honest answer, or the one you'd like to hear?". Who knew that was going to turn out to be a worse ass eating than the first two. With that particular person my standard answer became "How the fuck would I know?" Suited that person just fine. I guess it left his insecurity in possibly knowing less than I intact. He was the kind of person, that when I wanted to jump me about something he had some one else come with him. I'm not sure it if was a body guard or not.
Have fun, do NOT do as I do and let some little thing twist you're crank. Have fun instead
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