Saturday, September 27, 2014
McPherson!!! Glad to be back again!
Last year I would have sworn Liz would be at MacFest with one of the kids or a friend or two, certainly not with me. There were more than a few times within the last year that I thought WERE gonna punch my ticket. I somehow managed to dodge all that crap as well, and am sitting in our hotel room blogging my ass off, and loving every minute of it. I used all my "Dammit, I'm Sorry" cards for a while. Mistakes are gonna happen with me, that's for certain. I loathe excuses, so this is an explanation, not a damned excuse. I got angry over some stupid thing. It made m feel like no one even listened, only that they paired off, determined to make me feel bad. Stupid Cancer Brain. No one did that, no one wanted to do that, they just wanted to help. But, my shit was off the line on the ground when we got home, or so it seemed. Overly dramatic from the overly defensive mind. It's a wonder I didn't pop a gasket. While it wouldn't have been aimed at me, it should have been. The Lovely couldn't even talk to me I was so far pissed off I wouldn't have heard.
We dug out far too late Thursday afternoon, and my finding that I've damn near no night vision any longer concerned me enough that I asked if we could stay the night in Sweetwater. We can, and did. Friday was definitely a new day.Once I stepped back a bit, sat in the drivers seat, got all acclimated to the drive, I was sure all fired to get going. I'd not been up the Oklahoma route for a long time. It is beautiful country to me. Even knowing Fort Sill put in landscaping. I have always liked the "The Big Open". The Plains of Eastern New Mexico, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas West Border, all this was under ice or water thousands of years ago. It carved out it's own little shot at heaven. Sand pits in Russell County Kansas near Gorham, have thousands of tiny shark teeth. That's damn cool to find when you're poking around a sand pit in the middle of the high and dry plains.
We drive on. Sometimes the traffic is Chock-Ful-O-Stupid, but it's no worse than Midland County or City proper to drive through. The scenery is changing as we charge toward OKC, it goes fast since we are traveling at highway speed. I sit there thinking that there is no way a settler on a slow assed wagon would notice the changes in an arroyo like we can driving the limit and nothing more. My Great Grandmother Nora Wilson was born in the back of a wagon in Greenwood County KS in the mid to late 1870's. When I was fourteen or so, she and I found us a quiet spot away from the kitchen to visit. GGma had gone from some eye sight to damn near zero. She told me about all the things that she'd seen come and go, and at the time of 1976 all that seemed so far away to me, but in Nora's eyes you could almost see the wagons, the first old rickety assed things, cars and trucks, the MOON landing. What a multitude of things just to set eyes upon. How she and Grant had built a family in an oil lease operators house, not moving to town until it was a sure thing the ranch was gonna close that set of pastures off. On a side note, my dad got Grant Wilson's daily journals, which I believe he gave to my Uncle Wilbur for safe keeping. Grant related that he started out from their Ranch HQ toward Denver in belly deep grass and only opened one gate to move on. Cattle market dried up, bankrupt Nora and Grant, but he paid off. Started hauling complete wooden tanks for oil storage before a sale. What a life!!! We think that, I suppose, because we don't see anything but the technology to beat us out when it comes time shut down the system.
So many things I was seeing for what was the first time? No, but it was with renewed respect for our county, it's beauty, and heart. I'd seen all this before and marveled then, and it seems odd that I'd get hanky about my emotions as we scooted along the highway. Shhhhh, they don't need to know, These are things I'll miss. Rediscovering what I'd let slip from my sight. It's a great feeling to have found that again, where the horizon is infinite and waiting to be discovered. Pioneer spirit here in OK and KS.
Then, McPherson!!! I love just driving around this small town. Very pretty, and it's down to home, just like a lot of small farming communities. The Scottish Fest, that's how I got here in the first place.
I was a Heavy Athlete, at best, slightly less than mediocre, but working on it to get better. Ten years ago (11?) I walked onto the field to meet The AD Al Myers. It was like we'd known each other since we went to different schools together. In fact, that's the way I've seen these Games from word "GO". It is about trophy's, finishing well, and training hard. That's how these guys get better. I tried that as well, knowing I wasn't going to make it thru any of that. I started training hard. Two a days for the most part. It turns out that I just can't. My mind set is goofy about somethings, not so much other. What training did for me was raise my goals but raising my mistake level to the point I took a beating imposed upon myself. I backed off training, and just kinda started having fun again. My scores went up because I was relaxed. I've thrown well, here at Mac, wish I could repeat that today. Today is Liz's turn to begin to see why I love my homes away from home when I travel to a set of games These are a class act, and I hope to see Liz improving. Yes, I will still be here watching her for some time to come. Rest assured HA!! All the athletes, the crowd, the bands, dancers, vendors, they hit it at exactly the correct place to be for me to find some away from home fun, knowing no one would allow me to get incredibly stupid and pass out around them! LOL
There are some new things that old Baxter slid in on me while I was napping. I've found a new tumor detection ability. Damn, that sucks. It's behind my right ear, having taken up residence without asking, first. Our lot in life and death, isn't it? Only to the extent that we allow it to bother us. Somewhere these tumors are going to get worse. I've got some kind of fucking nerve, or something, that makes my hands cramp up badly. I don't like it much, I can tell you that for sure. My face is beginning to hurt more often now, as well as being swollen from the SVCS. My legs just said "Fuck it" and have lain down for the duration, I guess. My upper body strength is sliding off just enough to catch me feel it happen. Tis an odd thing to start finding now. What it's done is done and there is no going back, only forward. Have fun today