Words From Liz To Me......Maybe Answers As We Roll Alonf

  As many of the folks on FaceBook know, I've had a rough week. It's starting to get better, but it's a long way away from being a perfectly wonderful fight. Liz has written me a long note, one that fits here, really, since it deals with what I think about myself. Right, wrong or indifferent, it's needs to be heard out. She is my rock, truly.  I'll list her aliases so we can keep track
The Lovely
My Rock
My Anchor
My One True Love
Dip
Love


   With that, let us begin!!

 "I am writing this to you so you know you are a much stronger man, individual, than you think you are....your failures as you see them were only stumbling blocks in your life.

 In my eyes, before me, you married Vickie. I hate to bring that up, but you did get two great addictions. You couldn't as for anything better. Divorce was even worse.....a few years later and you met me!!!! (best decision I've ever made "Lovely"). Through all God's reasoning he decided that YOU were and still am/are, the man I should choose to be mtg mate. I could not, and would not ask for a better family to be a part of!
 Chuck and Bev showed me a different cling of love. They accepted me into their family, even after meeting my own. Your parents taught that even through there kids were not "nice" that they was wanted was love and acceptance.
  I never expected them to call me "mom" (Sarah moment: I can do it myself, mommy. face to palm plant.) but the first time they did, I was so proud. To this day I will still fight and argue about how well my "children" have achieved every form of love they have endured. Even when they hug me and whisper, "I think I have what you and Dad have"!
   Sarah is a constant reminder of her Mimi. Little short person with really big attitude (yep, cross that up and find out how much attitude, LOL
    In Chance I see both you and Chuck!! He knows his business, and knows how to apply his learning from school and from you.
These two kids are a wonderful product of your life..so you're not a failure there at that!

  I see you as the man that brought me out of my humble shell. To think as an individual, to think like a woman, and NOT be afraid to express my feelings. You taught me to research and stand up for me co-workers and not just myself (it's what we do, Liz, when we accept the role of leader. You're a damn fine leader as well.) because anything I do or say WILL affect everyone I work with. (the stand up person LIVES that, baby, an it's not easy.

 You've taught Addison and Declan how to be their own people and not follow "The Crowd". For that, Addison has endeavored to follow her artistic means and do what she wants and not what are demanded. She's our "Free Thinker", and works at her own pace.

 Declan is a man and so wants to be like his father, his brother, and his Papa. His working ever so so hard and does not want to let you down. (There's no way in heaven, hell or earth that wouldn't make me proud of him. He just never had the early work opportunity I did. You know, push mowing 2 acres around the house and spring straps, later on in LK, pushing the bus, making $2/month herding 60 head of registered Angus cattle, and $4/month looking after the horse. One horse for more money. I think I was getting hosed on this deal)

 These are the things I see everyday. I see you helping hundreds of people with/your blog. I have folk IMing me when you've not done a blog in a month or so asking if you're OK. Christians and non believers asking when your going to blog again. All of your (not just mine now, kid, they like the hell out of you LOL) Highland clans asking wha we can do to help  once you're gone. (i don't expect it, but I've set down newer protacts.
        The love and support that everyone has shown is beyond compare! Therefore, you are NOT a failure! You're a man!

 A failure in your own eyes and mind, but in the eyes of everyone that knows you or taste, or   reads your blog.  It's how you express your feelings about what it's like to live, & die on your own accord. I'm so proud to be your wife. Words can't express the feelings I have for your courage (courage! lets try that. Facing any of this. I am honored to travel this road with such an amazing human being!!
  I Love You so Much" Thus endeth the Lessons Of Liz

  MY ANSWERS

 I never wanted any of this for us..EVER!
I've gone as far as thinking that Baby Red and I could put ourselves between a rock on a road rally hard place and that would be it. WRONG! That's not a legacy to life, its the short cheap shot out. I want this to work so people DON'T feel afraid, anxious is fine, afraid takes so much out of your body and spirit it doesn't have a place in the fight, until they fit into that place no one would see them. Sadly, they get noticed and jumped out by three little pussy boys. That's my mission. And just when it seems I can't get down any farther, some prick shoots my mom twice with a small caliber weapon. Mob. I am really lowness and it worked for a number of the Don's when they got sentenced. Then one thinks I'll rat and puts a hit on me. That's a dumb ass on several layers. Keep your mouth shut, mine more than nay's. Watch the boards for accidental shootings, stabbings, and poisonings.

 Geez Louise, Liz. You're so much stronger a woman than I am man, it's spooky! Your diagnostics are getting a little rush every time you use them. Also, my ability to cultivate you into a bit of field card demon is working long and loud. You're keeping this bull shit all to yourself will serve only yourself. Thank you feelings!!!

 Okay, one last mark up for me. Liz, there's a reason I've kind of pushed, okay, SHOVED you toward talking with B. She's smart as are You. She's strong, as are you. She earned her stripes with the school of hard knocks. It would be the same thing. A commodity. If they can create more of these formula enhanced soldiers, we had better get this ship sailing. Until next cycle