Friday, October 4, 2013

Rough week

 Before we get started I gotta get a pet peeve off my chest. I hear over and over ad nauseum what a patriotic city Midland Texas is. It's almost said often enough that it makes me woozy. So, last night was the Homecoming Parade for Lee High School. My son plays in the band. He volunteered to play tuba in marching band since they didn't have enough. Anyway, the Colors are carried by the school ROTC kids. I get up out of my chair and put my hat over my heart. My family all has their hands over their hearts as one should when the colors pass. I look around and within 200 people, only my family is saluting the flag. The rest of the lazy dick bumps are just yapping away, and won't even stand up for the flag to pass. Not one more word do I want to hear about Midland being such a patriotic city. You're too lazy to stand for the flag, at least admit it doesn't mean that much to you anymore and just let it slide. But don't keep blowing your own horn on what a wonderfully patriotic city this is. Sheesh

 So, it's been a rough week. There is something in the air that's got me so messed up I can hardly breath. And that's spooky when 90% of your air intake comes from a hole in your neck. With the parts I have missing and my inability to swallow, the extra mucus from the allergy stuff is making it uncomfortable to say the least. At the most it gags me and makes me vomit. That's always a part of the day I'd rather pass upon, thank you. I'm also still playing catch up from the trip to Kansas last weekend. I didn't realize how much was being taken out of me at the time. And didn't fully appreciate that until Monday afternoon, when I was so tired and sore I could barely stand up long enough to get started doing my regular duties. I went on a pain med schedule Tuesday, and that's held everything to a dull roar and I can live with that for certain. I don't like being on the pain meds. I mean shit, I'm tired enough the way it is. Throw some pain meds in there and I'm liable to pass the hell out watching you talk to me. I'm afraid the family is going to draw on my face, like frat boys do the guys that pass out on the couch. I'm not really, but that would be funny. I get these damn face cramps again. Yesterday the pec in my mouth (sounds like the title to a really bad porn movie) cramped up so hard it had the other side of my jaw popping in ant out. That'll strain your milk for ya, believe me. What ever is floating around in the air, trees and shrubs, what ever it is  makes it hard for me to sleep an entire night through. I relax when I sleep, so I aspirate more of my own secretions. Which leaves me open to a lot of up and down at night.  So I've only been getting a couple of hours of sleep in a stretch. However, this morning was a bit different. I fell asleep before 2130, woke up at 2230, then didn't wake up again until 0410. That was nice, it gave me a chance at some real restful sleep. And I felt better when I woke up. Well, except for the 20 minutes of hacking up everything but a lung and some toenails. No uber weird dreams either. That's nice. I've had some lulu nightmares recently. You know, the cold sweat and panting kind of nightmares. Those are no fun at all.  I also need to supplement my Prilosec with something else too, the acid burps are just fricking awful,

 On the positive side, because there always is a positive side to things, I got to see my son march in the last parade I'll get to go to. He does great and I really enjoy watching him march. And the band on the whole is damned good, so that's a plus. I found that I can live within my limits, and I know that those are going to change as time goes along. I have to figure out how to give myself a break when that happens. I'd love to go the airshow next weekend. But I don't know if I can stand to be out all day like I  once did. It would be nice to see it one more time. I love to sounds of the old Pratt and Whitney engines. I saw lots of country that I'd often taken for granted, but see with a renewed vision now. The country north of Amarillo along the Canadian River breaks is beautiful. I've always known it was, but this trip I was looking at it differently. That makes for a lot sights that aren't quite so ugly as people think. I grew up on the plains. So flat or treeless is no big deal to me at all. The plains have a beauty all their own. They don't suffer fools very well either. The plains are where I learned to carry more than enough water. Where I learned that if it's fall, you better have winter clothes stored in the trunk of your car. In the summer it can be up to 110, in the winter the coldest I remember was 15 below zero, not counting wind chill. The guys here in West Texas grumble about the weather and wind here, and they don't see enough of either to really make much difference. So I laugh. And they get pissed, and I laugh some more.  Where I grew up takes a certain mental toughness that I think people over look, simply because it's how they deal with the Big Empty. I think that's been a part of how I look at dealing with Terminal Velocity. Yeah, it's happening,  so deal with it. Don't wussy out. I kinda like that.

   Travel is kind of a hassle now. Nearly as bad as packing up for a short weekend trip with a baby. Nearly, but not quite. But, it's also important to me that I make a couple of trips. I know I'll be exhausted, and beat down, and sore, but I have things to do for me. I need to let some folks know how much they've meant to me in my life. What a positive thing they've done for me, and that's helped make me a better person all around. And I'd like to see the country side again. Were that I could do so on my bike, but alas, I think I've fooled around too long now and I'll never make that kind of trip on her again. I don't have the stamina for it, or the legs to hold her up after being in the saddle for 3 or more hours at a stretch. So, the car it is. And I've gotten so spoiled now, that it's gotta be the wife's car, because it's the most comfortable. The little Audi is great to drive, and I made round trips in it to Houston early on in my treatment. But man, it's a roadster, so it's small and rides rough. As it should, it's a sports car so it has sport suspension. It's gonna ride rough, but that's also it's appeal.  So, sport sedan it is. I'll be comfy, and can let Liz drive some and I can drive some. Not a bad gig all the way around.
 There are somethings coming up that are going to be both difficult for me, and overly pleasant at the same time. I can't divulge those yet, but I'll let people know as soon after the events as is possible. They should be fun.

 What I need to make, instead of a bucket list, is a Last Time list. So I can go over that and see where it made it's impression on me and why I remember it like I do. And then my kids will have something they've been involved with written down so they have that as a keepsake from dad. I don't have a lot of material things. But that kind of stuff I will have in abundance.

 Okay, time to take the Boy to school. Have a great weekend, and remember. Make today happen for you, not just to be a place to kill time waiting for something to happen

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